A few of you have noticed lately that my blog (and social medias) have been all over the place, I tweeted a few weeks ago that my boyfriend and I broke up and a few of you assumed it may be related to that (how right you guys were). I’ve needed a bit of time to sort myself out, clear my head and focus on myself. When the whole breakup happened my friend Laura gave me a bit of advice, that focusing on my career is what’s most important, and honestly she’s right. I let this blog go downhill over a guy, but this little place on the internet will always be and should always be my number one priority. It’s what I love doing, it’s helping me build my skills and it’s kind of a part of me, so the fact that I considered giving that up for a guy is just plain outrageous. This post is half an apology and half a letter to those of you with guy problems or struggling to get over ex’s. What I share here really helped me get over what happened to me and hopefully it may help some of you..
Does he make you feel special? Are you happy with him? Those are all well and good and important but they aren’t everything. I hope he lifts you up, motivates you, I hope he’s your biggest cheerleader. You deserve someone who’s going to support you no matter how silly whatever you want to do is, someone who will be there for you every step of the way and won’t laugh at you or put you down. That’s what I never noticed I didn’t have. My boyfriend thought my blog was silly, didn’t support my dreams of getting into media and travelling to see different places. It was always “if you do this we’ll probably break up” and I stopped doing said things just for him, and you know what? That’s my biggest regret. I should have told him to f*** off right there and then but I didn’t, I was planning on doing whatever I could to make him happy, planning to stop my future and doing what I loved and looking back I realise just how ridiculous that is. I even got a job at a new club where a few of my friends also got jobs and guess what? I quit because he told me it’d probably break us up. If you’re in a relationship like that then get out of it now. I know you may love them to pieces but in the long run it isn’t worth it and I so wish I had listened to my friends sooner. They told me for weeks to break up with him and that I could do better but I just wouldn’t take any of it in, I’m stubborn like that I suppose. If your other half isn’t going to support you all the way then they should not be in your life, the same with friends really. You need to make sure that you don’t give up things that are important to you for anyone else and even though it may hurt at first you will come out not only so much stronger, but so much happier too. He cheated, he lied, he brought me down, but I just didn’t care. Why?..
Maybe I loved him too much or maybe I just didn’t know my self worth, it most likely was a mix of both with not wanting to be alone sprinkled on top, but it wasn’t worth staying in a toxic relationship for. I won’t put all the blame on him, I mean I’m not perfect but I can say that I was 100% loyal and I really did try with everything I had, but some things aren’t meant to be and I was blind. If I’m honest I’m actually beyond glad he broke up with me since I never would have had the courage to be the one to do it and maybe I’d still be stuck in a relationship like that now. Getting out of it is the best thing that could have happened and I didn’t realise it straight away, but staying would have only dragged me down. Since, he has had relationship after relationship and I’ve had nothing, does that make me alone and unwanted? No, it just means I’ve finally realised life isn’t about finding someone to complete you and fill the loneliness you have in your heart, and I kinda feel sorry for people who can’t be alone and think that they need someone, I mean I used to be like that too. There are more important things in life and you just need to figure out what it is you need, for me it’s a career. Something to make of myself. I’d rather be single my whole life than throw that down the drain and that doesn’t make me weird or a loner or mean I can’t find someone, I could easily have a boyfriend right now if I wanted to. I just want to focus on myself and my goals and wait till I meet someone I actually wholeheartedly want to be with, and until then single is the best thing I could be. If you want to follow me on bloglovin then be sure to click HERE, now I’ve sorted myself out I am backkk bitches.